Borderline Personality Disorder

Written by: Eva Li

You may think you know this person, but you are never able to predict their behavior. One minute they are having a nice conversation with you. The next minute, they are crying or yelling for no reason. There is definitely something wrong, but you cannot tell what it is.

What do you think of when you hear the term “borderline personality disorder?” Do you picture psychos and maniacs in your mind? Although this is how people suffering from this disorder are portrayed in the media, this is not the case. BPD is one of the most common psychological problems. Today, I want to discuss borderline personality disorder. I hope this will help you understand the people suffering from it better.

To begin, borderline personality disorder is a part of the group of disorders known as “borderline state of personality.” Borderline personality disorder begins to develop when a child is one. It is primarily a dysfunction of interacting in everyday life, caused by emotional instability and lack of understanding yourself and others. BPD is usually very noticeable in a person, as their behavior is slightly different from the average person’s. Sometimes they feel like aliens, who awkwardly try to adjust to human society. This causes issues in their everyday interactions with others.

The most significant symptom affected by this disorder is emotion. People with BPD suffer from emotions that are indescribably strong and uncontrollable. Their emotions change very quickly. For instance, in the morning they may feel like the happiest person alive. Two hours later, they are hysterically crying and hating their loved ones. People with BPD also deal with a distorted sense of self. This means they cannot characterize themselves until somebody else does it; they don’t know who they are, what they like, and they cannot predict their own actions. Those with BPD often struggle with choosing a career.

Various disorders are often caused by borderline personality disorder. The most common are eating disorders and depression. Unfortunately, people with BPD are often subject to self-harm and suicidal behavior.

Generally, people who suffer from BPD come from different types of families. Firstly, a chaotic family, or a family without a proper hierarchy. For example, a parent who does not behave as an authority figure to her child. Parents with psychological disorders (including BPD) also fit into this family category. A child from a chaotic family fails to predict their parents’ behavior. Another family archetype that children with BPD come from is a family of perfectionists. These types of families teach their child to hide everything “bad” that happens inside of the household. The child is trained not to tell anyone about their problems and not to show true feelings. Children from these families tend to overcompensate for their inner emptiness with high social achievements. And the third archetype, a “classic patriarchal” family, where the father is aggressive and controlling and the mother may not have a voice within the household. The parents fight in front of the child. In these families, only the physical health of the child is valued; the parents are not likely to discuss worries and help their child with whatever issues they may be facing. Parents provide food, money, and basic necessities. They do not show their child that they love them, and do not care about how the child feels within the hostile home environment.

These conditions are damaging to a child’s understanding of social rules, because they always fail to predict their family’s behavior. Because of this, they grow up mentally unstable and almost always experience troubles in their love lives. They do not know how a person should act towards loved ones.

Unlike neurotics, people with BPD are not able to correct their behavior according to criticism. BPD can be cured using medications and psychotherapy. The interesting part of their treatment is that before becoming mentally healthy, they have to go through the stage of neurosis. This ultimately brings them one step closer to their goal.